Lazy Days

These lazy days  are becoming a lot more frequent in our home as of late.  The horrible wet weather plus an anxious disposition has meant a lot more staying indoors.  A lot more reading books, playing games, watching programmes, singing songs and cuddling in our pyjamas.  It has been really nice to just be and not feel the pressure to do anything.  It was hard at the weekend as it was my beautiful sister-in-love’s baby shower and I just couldn’t muster up the strength to go.  I had been looking forward to it for ages, and I am beyond ecstatic about becoming an Auntie for the first time.  I just couldn’t go.  I kept trying to get ready, but things were getting in the way and causing HUGE panic attacks.  In the end we stayed in and once again had another lazy day resting and snuggling.

James has been doing so well keeping us all afloat while I have been struggling and he had been through a pretty awful ordeal at work this week so I told him to go out if he needed to, or have a relax as the children and I were happy just chilling together.

I put so much pressure on myself, I always have, as a Mum.  Being part of the blogging community can really help, but can also highlight it sometimes.  I want to do amazing things with my children because I love them, and I love having little adventures.  I love taking pictures, I love looking back on the memories.  When you start feeling like you need to go out because you won’t have anything to blog about then you’re kind of losing sight.

Getting out and about with the camera is normal behaviour for me, I couldn’t even remember where mine was the other day though, which told me that it had been FAR TOO LONG.  James needed to rest at the weekend and that had to take priority, and I just didn’t feel up to taking four of them out on my own.  So Saturday we all just cuddled lots, and watched programmes, and then I let Daddy disappear for a few hours.  He had a relaxing bath and watched some anime or whatever it is he likes to watch that I don’t like.

Monday I decided I HAD to get out of the house.  I kind of had a now or never moment looking at the weather forecast for the week.  To be fair there has been some beautiful afternoons despite the drizzling rain throughout the day.  The sun beams gloriously through the windows at around 3pm and it’s beautiful.  So we’ve been trying to get out of the house at around this time.

It took us longer than we meant it to on Monday so we didn’t catch the gorgeous golden hour but we did play on an empty park, all to ourselves (mostly) as the beautiful pink and purple skies enveloped the setting sun.  It was so lovely.  Reminded me on everything I’m missing while hiding in my home due to this anxiety.

I want to live, desperately, to live joyfully and full of life and energy and love.  I will fight for it.  It may take me some time to regain strength but I will get there.

One thing I have realised though on these lazy days is that all these little ones need to be happy is food, shelter, water, hygiene, security and love.  I am so blessed that even on the most difficult of days I am able to offer them this.  There are so many people who aren’t as fortunate.

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I am linking this post up (although I’m very late) with Katie for {The Ordinary Moments} as for me, right now, our lives don’t get more ordinary than this.

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